I'm about to embark on a short journey where I make fun of crazy mommy group people, and I'm drinking the haterade, so if you can't hang, you might want to come back tomorrow for something more mild.
You all know by now that I started blogging because of all the "OMG I adore being a mom because my baby is such a perfect delight and joy!!!! She sleeps all night since birth!! She never cries!!! I am such an awesome mommy!!!!!!!!!!!" mommy bloggers because I started feeling inferior and needed a place to vent and complain and basically show that you can still be happy and have a good baby even if he/she cries all day and night, spits up on you, has projectile diarrhea on you while in Target (but only if you're both wearing a white shirt), and lives in a messy house with nothing but take-out boxes from the Pho place across the street.
I have a couple of good girlfriends I can relate to who also have kids that are crazy, loud, throw fits, talk back, etc., but somehow I got roped into joining a mommy group page on Facebook with a bunch of gals that are totally weird (and worse, are totally unaware of this fact). One of my best friends is the marketing director for the practice that I saw when I was pregnant with Mia and 2-3 times a week she asks a question in the status on the FB fan page to try and get a conversation going between the moms. Its such a great idea, and I've met a good group of girls that way, which I think is her goal- to bring people together. Some of the questions she's asked are:
Do you bribe your baby/child with anything to get them to go to sleep for naptime or bedtime?
After having kids, do you still put in the same effort to get yourself ready (makeup, clothes, etc), dropped a few things, or just given up entirely?
The answers vary between honesty like "of course I bribe them....duh" and "I wish my baby would learn to sleep at night" and cheerleader-ish stuff like "Yay! I love having fun with the baby in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping and we're both up!!"Finish this sentence: My favorite time of day with my baby/child(ren) is.....
Those moms are cool. And I'm not talking about any of them here.
But then you get some GEMS like "I don't have to bribe my children to go to sleep because they know better than that!" and "No, I don't think it's right to let your children watch any television at all. We NEVER watch TV because I am a parent that plays with my child." There's like 3 moms that I swear just write answers like that to try to make it seem like they are A) awesome and you should be so lucky to have kids like hers and B) way better than you and you're doing it wrong. Or, maybe they just want to sound ridiculous.
But basically what I'm saying is:
BITCHES BE TELLIN' LIES!!!
Here's what frustrated the crap out of me the other day:
I usually answer the question and make jokes about how my baby needs to learn how to change her own diaper or work the remote so I don't have to wake up and do it for her, and some people even find it funny....but for this question I knew the answers would be crap like "my perfect child has never thrown a fit." so I had to talk some shit right off the bat. I take the word "tantrum" not to mean "crying" in general, but rather throwing a fit and being overly vocal about not getting their way, or wanting a toy and getting mad when their mom says no. ALL babies cry in the store or at a restaurant, but theres a difference between a baby crying because they're tired or hungry, and basically losing their minds when mom and dad wont buy them something. Mia is a baby and doesn't understand stuff enough to have a tantrum, but she does cry in public.How do you deal with public tantrums from your baby/child?
My answer was :
Mia isn't at the throwing a fit stage yet-it's totally coming though-but I agree with Alicia. Just let them do it and ignore it. Parents who say "my kids know better than to throw a fit in public" are liars and should be slapped for making the rest of us look and feel bad.That's honestly how I feel. Stop saying your kid is perfect, because he's not and I don't care if a kid is crying in Target because I'm just glad its not mine. Throwing a fit in a restaurant is different, but the grocery store or Target or something? No. People got pretty pissed off at me and decided they didn't agree AT ALL. One mom even wrote something about how lucky she is that her kids are not the "throwing a fit" type. BITCH PLEASE!!`
Who else agrees with me though that when someone else's kid is throwing a fit or screaming in public you totally don't hear it? If Mia cries in the store it's all I can think about and I feel like all eyes are on me. But if it's your kid- I don't even hear it and it doesn't bother me AT ALL. I think if anything I'm just glad it's not mine and I'm feeling sorry for the embarrassed mommy.
I'm really not one for cutting other moms down, but when it starts getting borderline ridiculous like that, you know I can't hold it in. I don't think its even the fact that their kids don't throw fits or they don't let them watch TV. It's the crazy way they talk about it- "there will never be a TV in our house because we are the type of parents that feel like we should interact with our children and they will never be exposed to the internet..." blah blah blah. Do people really feel this way? LOL. Hey lady- a little Barney or Signing Time isn't going to make your kid dumb and nobody is going to lock you up for having a kid that throws a fit. I interact with my kid a good portion of the day, but dude....I need that TV. I get annoyed when Mia cries at the Wal-Mart, but I need my lady speed stick and some tampons and I can't just leave my cart full of goldfish crackers and Cheerios in the middle of the store so you aren't offended when she cries. Get a life.
I think I relate to people better that don't sugar coat their lives. Don't you? Mommy liars are the worst.
Labels: bad mommy, glimpse, rants, real life, television, WTF
posted by OMGmom @ 3:05 AM
43 Comments:
Sae.. well like any kid she throws fits when she is tired or hungry otherwise she's pretty deng good. But what kid doesn't get mad when they are hungry/cranky? shit I do. On the other hand I CAN understand that some kids just don't throw tantrums. My hubs was that way and so was my brother (funny part is that thier names are both Michael go figure) when we were little my brother was very quiet and passive. He never acted out or cried a lot and he never had a fit. Now I was with this kid all the time and he's my younger brother I beat him up a few times too. He CRIED but never WHINED. I don't know why, it's just his personality.
If only I could send that mojo to Sae while we are out holiday shopping it would be AWESOME.
anyhow back on topic. Yes mommy liars are UGH. Sometimes I get drawn into the birth board crazies, you know the moms with kids who talk full sentences at 8 months and listen to Mozart. Obviously they are trying to seem like super mom, they just seem to not grasp the full picture of parenting which is NOT perfect. I just roll my eyes and move on. wouldn't I LOVE to be a fly on the wall when perfect BILLY or SUSAN is a teenager.
I completely agree. Wyatt (5 months) is definitely not at the tantrum age yet. But seriously... he already looks like he will have a hell of a personality on him. When I see moms out running errands and their toddlers are "throwing down" I just want to run up and let them know:
1. its okay - I am not judging you
2. if you want me to slap the uber bitch giving you evil eyes, I am happy to, because clearly she has no idea the reality of dealing with a child in a public place.
I hate that people freak out when kids cry. They arent robots you can turn on and off.. and it isnt like it some game that you as a parent enjoy...
"Hmm.. what would be fun today... how about I go out into a crowded Target and piss off HUNDREDS of people... that would just be awesome!"
I think moms lie more when their kids are ugly.
Haha no just kidding but I'm experiencing this for the first time. My daughter is only 4 months old but unfortunately I have several FB friends with kids that are similar ages and OHMIGOD it is so annoying. I mention Rowan crying in the grocery ("wow I love to push a screaming baby up and down the aisles of the Food Lion!") and then suddenly like 9340398 first time moms with kids the same age as mine (ie no more experience) are giving me pointers and tips and trying to figure out her "problem." Um. Her problem is that I am a space cadet and forgot to feed her before we left. She's a baby. She cries. I basically stopped talking about her on FB...it's not fun if you can't crack jokes.
This is exactly why I love reading your blog! I don't have a "perfect" baby and I hate Mom's who act like they do!! My life is real, I don't feeling like playing with her for hours on end, in fact I really don't enjoy staying home with just her all day. That's just me. She throws tantrums, refuses to eat anything healthy and watches Sesame street like 2x a day :)
Amen and amen.
Unfortunately, this applies to more than just Mommy-dom, although I really think that people who do this with parenting are the worst.
Dude, I'm cool with the fact that people feel passionately differently from me about any subject. Seriously, no problem. Even when that thought/feeling/opinion is so far out there from where I am I really can't comprehend it, no biggie. I'm used it, especially since I became Mormon. But when you start coming down on me BECAUSE my way is different and "Why would you do that...?" and start expecting me to do/think/feel the same way because I'm clearly some sort of idiot or moron because I don't agree with you...
OH HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK NO.
Go ahead and grow your own organic food to prepare and feed your kids and never own a television and make all your kids' clothes by hand. More power to you. Even though my daughter will be 2 in February there are still occasionally days I don't get a shower in, so it seems like I might not have time/energy/resources for that. But seriously, BACK THE EFF OFF. The minute you start preaching your gospel and stop owning that it's just what you happen to do/think/feel/believe and making me or anyone else feel badly for how they do/think/feel/believe it is the minute I seriously don't have room for that crap.
Life is too short. There was a woman about a year really driving me nuts with a personality like that and impacting my life--eventually I just broke up with her. If there are ever days I don't shower, I seriously do not have time for that kind of crap.
I highly recommend breaking up with anyone who brings you down, Mommies. It's awkward, but you don't have to be mean or spiteful to end a friendship.
And for any Mommies out there feeling badly for these *ahem*s making you feel inferior--girl, it's okay. Is your baby happy and healthy? Then you are doing just fiiiiiine, even if you're blowing off household chores to read comments on Mommy blogs. You rock and don't let these delusional aholes convince you otherwise.
um, alex totally throws tantrums. like, real omg!-i'm-not-getting-my-way tantrums. mostly when she's tired, but sometimes just because. it started when she was first starting to 'walk', but with our fingers. and if she couldn't get your fingers, she would drop to the ground and lose her shit. then it was b/c she couldn't play with the magnet on the fridge, or b/c i took away the plastic bag that she shouldn't be playing with, or b/c she doesn't want to eat her dinner. she's 13 months.
she knows what she wants and has a preference.
depending on what it is about, i usually try to divert her attention, but sometimes you just have to let them have their fit. my big thing is not just giving her what she wants. not in a mean-mommy way. i just don't want it to become a problem, you know? i'm so worried about her becoming a bratty kid that gets what she wants b/c she throws a fit.
I completely agree with you about when throwing tantrums, parents should just ignore the child. although I don't have children, the hubs and I were in target with his little sister and she threw a tantrum because she wanted to look at something and we said no. The hubs and I just walked...pretty much dragged... her back to her mother and ignored her crying. Of course her mom calmed her down and gave her what she wanted- but that wasn't helping! She was reinforcing that negative behavior!
Btw, I also hate when people sugarcoat their lives! My SIL is like that...everything is always PERFECT on her FB statues! Sometimes I wanna say "Bitch just admit it- NOTHING is perfect!" LOL
I bribe my daughter with candy. I probably shouldn't do this but when she's SCREAMING in Wal-Mart and EVERYONE is looking at me I tell her that if she stops crying and stays good, I'll give her a piece of candy. Lucky for me, sometimes she thinks peanuts are candy. :]
But my point of view is, kids cry, babies cry, and if ppl don't like it, no matter how much they look at me and no matter how embarrassed I get, THOSE ppl can deal!
BTW, my kid isn't horrible but if she doesn't get her way, she will let you know about it!
And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way :]]
My initial reaction to this post was pretty negative, I have to admit. I understand the point that you're trying to make, but I think this is one of those times that you come across too strong for me. Hey, we're all different so I'm not slamming you, just saying I don't agree with how aggressive this post is.
That being said, I understand your perspective on some of this. My girls are 11 months old now (but were 10 weeks early, so they should be at the developmental age of a 8.5 month old). When momma's cry about sleeping troubles all I can do is offer my advise. Our girls have slept through the night since they were three months old, right after they were released from the NICU. Part of that is that we are absolute schedule nazis- but we have to be with two infants. Our days are very structured and if the sitter deviates from the schedule, I go batty. ::shrug:: I don't think I'm better than anybody else and I don't think I know it all, but I know what worked for us and I recommend people try it. If it doesn't work for you, move on and try the next thing.
My girls eat solids twice a day. It's a nightmare when they don't cooperate. They'll stick their thumbs in their mouth, refuse to open up, cry, etc etc. People have recommended that I allow the girls to try to feed themselves so that they get some tactile experience with the food. You know what? That is GREAT advise. I haven't done it though, because the thought of that level of mess and bath time X2 totally intimidates me. That's my shortcoming, but the advise is sound.
My girls are going through a clingy, whiny stage that has me ready to pull my hair out. I only have one set of arms and a ton of housework to accomplish in the evenings before we go to bed and it's SO hard when both are crying to be held and I feel like a crappy mom. People say "let the housework go" and enjoy my babies. I can't! If my house isn't kept then I will come home from my 50 hour work week and be totally incapable of enjoying the time I DO have with my family.
So, I feel the pain of motherhood and trying to figure things out. I think that the bottom line is that we all have to fumble through it. I appreciate advise when I ask for it, I get irritated when people offer it with my asking, but I also just chalk it up to a desire to share what we know and maybe better somebody else's experience. I choose to see it more positively because I can't be bogged down by negativity in my life. I don't have time for it! ;)
OH and my second daughter, who is a month old, sometimes starts to cry in the store because she's hungry. I'm breastfeeding so it's not like I can whip out a boob right on the spot, so if an infant is crying and ppl are looking at me, they can totally kiss my cute ass!
You're awesome hahahaaha
In one sentence...That is why after having my baby I just can't seem to hang out with women/other mommies they annoy the crap out of me. I feel ya sista!
I would LOVE to hear what some of the Facebook responses to your answer were. You're right on, Mandy--keep on keepin' it real, gal!
I totally agree with EVERYTHING you just said.
LOL, "BITCHES BE TELLIN LIES!"
One of the many reasons I love you.
You are my hero. Wish more mother would keep it real. I live in an area that is overly populated with perfect mothers therefore I stick out like a sore thumb with my less than perfect kids. :)
My 19 month old son likes to lay down in the Wal-Mart floor and scream. I also bribe him with candy, partly because if he doesn't get M&Ms at the checkout, he goes into fits again. I mean it's not EVERY time we go to the store, but it happens at least once a month. I just watch him and then put him in the cart and try to give him my meanest mommy stare (which apparently hasn't kicked in yet). Luckily I'm not good friends with many girls/moms and the ones I do have keep it real. Except my mom, who doesn't understand why I can't control my child. And my baby daddy, who apparently thinks he is a much better parent than me because he keeps our son all of 4 days a month. Ahhh, parenting.
Can I get an "Amen!"? I hear you and feel your pain...too funny that today on the way to work (after dropping the two kids off at day care and school) I was a basket-case of tears...and wen totally psycho on a co-worker and actually said the words "If one more person tells me that their kid has slept through the night since x months old, I think that I will literallly tear all of my hair out!"
This post was totally appropriate for me today!
Let's just keep doing the good job that we know we're doing...even if everyone else thinks badly of us for letting our kids into our beds, watch tv, scream in Target, etc. My 8 year-old came out fine...surely I did something right?
Eff the mommy liars!! You are awesome :D
and I totally bribe my child with fruit snacks.
Love from,
a mommy that keeps it real
I'm not in the mommy club yet, but I'm pregnant with my first baby. So in May I'll be a mommy. I suspect their will be tantrums, bribes, and tv. :) I plan to just roll with punches as they come at me.
Btw...thank you so much for your honest blog. I read a few other mommy blogs, and yours is the most real. I appreciate your honesty...it's refreshing.
I honestly think all kids have different personalities; and I do think it's possible that some kids just don't throw tantrums or cry in public - HOWEVER I do not think that throwing tantrums vs. not throwing tantrums are necessarily a result of the parenting they receive, I think it's simply the beginning of a developing personality. Some kids get vocal at an earlier age, test their boundaries, etc. It doesn't always mean they are bad kids, or their parents are bad.
I will say though, I am 29 years old and one of my best friends still stomps her foot and cries in public if she doesn't get what she wants from her husband. This is a direct result of the instant gratification and rewards she received for throwing tantrums as a child. Her family and her husband still enable her to this day as if she was a small child, and it has turned her into a rotten adult.
I am 3 months pregnant ATM and I am already planning on distancing myself greatly from a few "friends" I have who are already mommies simply because I cannot deal with similar sh!t - "pointers", unsolicited advice, etc. If I am having a problem and would like your opinion, I'll ask your ass for it! Don't just give it to me and force me to eat it!
Minky
Thanks Mandy!!! I feel ya too. I also can't stand the judgment the comes from older women as well. My fiance's Stepmom, (complicated, I know) is the worst. She has two daughters with small kids and she is constantly comparing me to her daughters. (they are perfect after all) I have a feeling that her daughters LIE to her, because she has said some crazy S*#t about what they do and how I'm not doing it. I'm totally honest to everyone when they ask a question about my son. She asked the other day if he was sleeping through the night, and I was like no, but it doesn't bother me. Oh, but all her grandkids STTN at 3 months old. She also asked if he was sleeping in his crib, and I was like sometimes, sometimes hes in his bassinet, sometimes the swing, and sometimes in our bed. Whatever works. The look of disapproval I got, WOW!!! Because guess what her grandkids all STTN in the CRIBS at 3 months old. Some people are completely stuck in their own perspective that they can't see that another way might work as well. I prefer to be open minded about everything and not shut people down.
Ok....Seriously?? I totally knew this was coming and I am sooo thrilled you finally decided to decode all of that mommy bs because honestly someone has too....
I totally don't understand why people try to act like their children are such a blessing and they simply never have bad days... It is everywhere I tell you.. internet, in real life and in mommy groups. I totally get that some mothers want to portray that there child or children are simply angels 100 percent of the time but that simply too hard to beleive. I once even caught my MIL talking about how she never left her son (my hubby) with babysitters or even her mother because she didn't think it was right. Are you serious people? Why must people feel guilty for asking others for help or just admitting that they can't handle it sometimes??? Do people get that being a parent isn't always easy and may mean that sometimes you just plain have a bad day?
You will also see some of this bananas behavior on youtube mommy videos.. There are a few I can recall that always strut how perfect their children are and how they never have problems.. Give me a break!
I agree with a previous poster- I think some kids truly do have laid back personalities and they don't throw tantrums. But, as the previous poster stated, I also agree that it has little to do with parenting styles, and everything to do with the unique personality of the child. It will be funny when those moms with kids that are "tantrum free because of MY GREAT PARENTING" have a second or third child with a headstrong personality throwing tantrums- their tune will change :)
I had to come back and see what people were saying about this one...
I totally agree with what someone else said, "I do not think that throwing tantrums vs. not throwing tantrums are necessarily a result of the parenting they receive."
BAM.
I seriously don't think any parent is able to take ANY credit for how good or bad their child is. I've seen the most amazing parents have hellion demon-like tantrum-throwing children and I've seen less-than-stellar parents have awesome, super-well-behaved children.
Granted, I do think there are good choices, better choices and flat-out BAD choices when it comes to parenting that can influence a child's behaviors and personality...but there's only so much we can do. Those little ones have a shocking amount of free will.
And Mandy, I'm so with you on being the parent of the screaming child--SO SURE that EVERYONE is staring at you and thinking in their minds what a HORRIBLE mother you are and whatever but this is so stupid...if I even notice another crying baby, I would ever, ever think that. I just feel really bad for the mommy and thank my lucky stars (and not my parenting skillz) that it's not my baby crying...this time.
And seriously--are any of our good ideas with parenting really our own?
Am I the only one who feels like every time I have a great idea that helps my baby eat/sleep/calm down/whatever that it's not really MY idea but some Jedi mind trick sent from someone else to help me out in a moment of need?
Just me? Crap.
LMAO @ ALison.
moms lie more when their kids are ugly.
Couldn't of said it better myself. And the moms with ugly kids try and beat you out and make you feel bad when your kid is running around the table and not sitting and eating their dinner. "You are such a good boy for eating your dinner." Just want to smack the hell out of those people.
They will have their day. Just wait.
The smartest mommies are the ones with the screaming babies.. that want a Rolo candy bar and mommy just put it back and said no and is ignoring the kids. Right?! That's me. And the other smart mommies are smiling at me and giving me the nods of approval because they've been there .. done that.
Mandy, Have you ever heard of the mompetition blog? She makes these hilarious videos on topics such as this. All of them so so funny but this one is exactly about what you are saying: http://mompetition.blogspot.com/2010/09/why-i-cant-make-mom-friends.html
Love it
I'm a mom of twins and the one about twins is my favorite.
Haha I totally feel you on feeling like everyone is staring when your kid is crying, but only feeling bad for the mom when you see kids having a meltdown in public and not really noticing the kid much at all.
I am gearing up for that tantrum stage ahead, and am pretty certain I won't escape b/c my mom says after all the tantrums I put her through when I was little -- I'm due for my turn! :)
Side note -- maybe it's the blogs I subscribe to, but I haven't really come across any "perfect mommy" mom blogs. Every one I read acknowledges how hard it can be sometimes. I don't think many go into details as much as you do but no blogger I read ever seems to try to make it look easy and perfect.
Whenever I see posts like this, I always kind of feel guilty/singled out. It can be possible that not all of these women are lying/bragging.
I hate the term "good" baby, but our daughter is VERY laid back (like her father - I've seen him mad TWICE in six years), and up to now we have been baffled by how "good" she is. She (for real - not mommy-lying) rarely cries (a couple times a week)and sleeps through the night since she was two weeks old. She's good in public (loves to babble when others are having a conversation to join in), and is very cuddly and sociable. She doesn't startle easily, and gives off very identifiable hungry/tired/cranky cues and is easily placated. I do my best to parent her in the way I feel is best for our family, but I could hardly take credit. I think, for real, this is her personality more than any superior parenting on my part.
Apparently I was a similar "type" of baby (the Baby Whisperer calls this an Angel Baby:
"As you might expect, this is the kind of baby every first-time pregnant woman imagines herself to have: good as gold. Pauline is such a baby – mellow, eternally smiling, and consistently undemanding. Her cues are easy to read. She’s not bothered by new surroundings, and she’s extremely portable – in fact, you can take her anywhere. She feeds, plays and sleeps easily, and usually doesn’t cry when she wakes up. You’ll find Pauline babbling in her crib most mornings, talking to a stuffed animal or just amusing herself by staring at a stripe on the wall. An Angel baby often can calm herself down, but if she gets a little overtired, perhaps because her cues were misread, all you have to do is snuggle her and tell her “I can see that you’re overtired”. Then, turn on a lullaby, make the room nice and dim and quiet, and she will put herself to sleep." (from the book)
My sisters and I were all different from each other, and as a parent, I am pretty sure that my next child will not be a carbon copy of Baby Shortcake! Until then, I just enjoy my daughter and thank God that I have it "easier" than some!
Whenever I see posts like this, I always kind of feel guilty/singled out. It can be possible that not all of these women are lying/bragging.
I hate the term "good" baby, but our daughter is VERY laid back (like her father - I've seen him mad TWICE in six years), and up to now we have been baffled by how "good" she is. She (for real - not mommy-lying) rarely cries (a couple times a week)and sleeps through the night since she was two weeks old. She's good in public (loves to babble when others are having a conversation to join in), and is very cuddly and sociable. She doesn't startle easily, and gives off very identifiable hungry/tired/cranky cues and is easily placated. I do my best to parent her in the way I feel is best for our family, but I could hardly take credit. I think, for real, this is her personality more than any superior parenting on my part.
Apparently I was a similar "type" of baby (the Baby Whisperer calls this an Angel Baby:
"As you might expect, this is the kind of baby every first-time pregnant woman imagines herself to have: good as gold. Pauline is such a baby – mellow, eternally smiling, and consistently undemanding. Her cues are easy to read. She’s not bothered by new surroundings, and she’s extremely portable – in fact, you can take her anywhere. She feeds, plays and sleeps easily, and usually doesn’t cry when she wakes up. You’ll find Pauline babbling in her crib most mornings, talking to a stuffed animal or just amusing herself by staring at a stripe on the wall. An Angel baby often can calm herself down, but if she gets a little overtired, perhaps because her cues were misread, all you have to do is snuggle her and tell her “I can see that you’re overtired”. Then, turn on a lullaby, make the room nice and dim and quiet, and she will put herself to sleep." (from the book)
My sisters and I were all different from each other, and as a parent, I am pretty sure that my next child will not be a carbon copy of Baby Shortcake! Until then, I just enjoy my daughter and thank God that I have it "easier" than some!
sorry for the multiple post. I got an error message and then I hit refresh!
This is hilarious! Thanks for keeping it real!
My 11 month old is learning to holler and cry (REALLY LOUDLY) if she doesn't get what she wants or if I take away something from her that she's playing with (like the piece of cardboard she was going to stick into her mouth this morning) or the 1000 sheets of wipeys she pulled out of the box while I walked away for a minute to make coffee or the thousand other things throughout every.single.day. But yeah, she's a perfect baby because she does what babies are SUPPOSED to do. Cry. Yell. Throw a fit here or there. Do I cave sometimes and stick a piece of fruity goodness in her mouth to shut her up? Sure. Do I stand my ground sometimes and let her cry it out? Sure. You do what you have to do in the moment because I learned to choose my battles and you know what? Some days you're just too damn tired to fight with a mini-me. Those other mommies must have robot babies but I cannot for the life of me try in one shot to get my slithering, soggy child into a onesie after her bath before bedtime. In fact, I can't "get" her to do anything she doesn't want to because she's a baby. She has preferences but the level of communication is just not quite there yet. Sure, she knows "no" but how do you explain to an 11-month old that if she tries to run after the neighbor's cat when she's not entirely walking all that well yet, she's going to fall? She only knows what she wants. But I'm happy for all the moms out there who was able to teach their kids from the age of 6-months how to clean up after themselves, change their own diapers, read a 300-page novel, and put themselves to bed right after taking their own bath. Perhaps they will have graduated from college by the age of 7 at that rate. My kid? Nah. She'll be eating tissues and wipeys for some time to come. She will cry when I take away her toy because it's bedtime. And you know? I must be one HORRIBLE mommy because I personally wouldn't want it any other way. But Kudos to the mommies out there with their perfect robotic children. You must be oh so proud.
totally get this, i am a member of a semi local forum and its a bunch of walmart hating,my kid is never bad, i always do the right thing, i can do it so much better than you can snobs
i love your rants!
i just started reading your blog and love your very honest look at being a mommy. i am NOT one of those mommies that thinks my kid is perfect or that i am the perfect mom but, unfortunately, i have one of these mommies in my family. it is so frustrating. and like you said, i personally feel she is a "mommy liar". there's just no way your kids are so f'ing perfect and you are not a perfect f'ing mom. stop trying to act like everything is so f'ing perfect.
but i wanted to share one particular tantrum in public that my 3 year pulled on me. we were in CVS in line waiting to pay. he had seen these halloween light up ring thingys on the counter and started playing with one. when i told him to put it back, that we weren't getting it, he threw the fit of a liftime. crying and screaming and throwing himself all over the floor. OMG, i was horrified. but i just stood there and let him do it, of course, NOT buying the ring. once we got home and he settled down i tried to explain to this 3 yr old how inappropriate this behavior is. but, come on, he's 3. he doesn't understand. but the point is, you CANNOT give in to the behavior WHILE the behavior is happening. you will only make it worse.
i also don't really believe in the bribing thing. i feel that for long term you're just making things worse.
I mean, I notice when kids throw fits or scream or cry in stores, but I don't get annoyed. I, like you, just feel bad for how embarassed the poor parent must be, and thank my stars that my kid is still in utero and hasn't yet had the chance to grace the world with her wailing.
Now, people who bring toddlers who are too young to sit for more than 10 minutes to an adult movie? Are forever on my shit list. There's never any excuse for bringing an 18-month old to an 8 pm showing of a rom-com. Either get a sitter, or go to the 10 am show when no one else is there.
/rant
I know that this wasn't really the point of this blog post but I have to say that it drives me frickin' CRAZY to hear a kid throwing a tantrum when I'm out. I can't stand it.
I understand that you can't turn a baby on and off like a switch, but the "just let them do it" philosophy is really disappointing. And annoying. You and your child aren't the only people in that public place.
I'm not trying to be mean or snarky. I can understand why you'd want to just let them do it. But it's really inconsiderate to others.
So glad you wrote this post! I was the first of my group of friends to have a baby; but another friend gave birth about a month ago. She is totally "perfect" to the point of annoying, but it doesn't annoy me anymore because I found out she's just a big liar. In response to someone asking how long she has to wait to have sex, she started complaining about how she had to wait for 6 whole weeks, her husband couldn't keep his hands off of her, and they were making out all the time.
Yea. Right. There are so many reasons I know this is impossible (and any other mom, but maybe especially a breastfeeding mom) that I know she's lying. So I don't have to feel bad about how she has the perfect life because it's probably all lies, too.
to anonymous @436 - have you ever tried to have a reasonable conversation with some who is totally drunk when you were totally sober? it's pretty impossible. same concept when your toddler is throwing a total tantrum. they are possessed demons who are not capable of rational thought at that moment. most children will get over their fit in just a few minutes. whether you're trying to make them to or not. and that's the moment you need to try to rationalize and explain their inappropriate behavior to them. sorry its so inconvenient for you that children are allowed in the same public places you go to. you must not have children yet.
Im not yet a mommy- Just newly preggers and i gotta say... I just LOVE your blog...You ARE the shiznit !
I am about to go to my first playgroup tomorrow so I am a little nervous about the "dating" scene. My friend said meeting moms is like dating again. Do you remember how many bad dates you went on? My daughter's only three months so it is time for us to get out of the house. I am hoping to only meet real moms, not the types you are writing about, but that is what i am afraid of running into. If you listen to my and my friend who has twin boys, you would think we were always complaining, but we love our children with all our hearts. The difference is, yeah, it is completely acceptable to whine about not sleeping and annoyances that come with motherhood and realize that it doens't mean you don't love your child completely. Ugh. So yeah, I agree and wish me luck.
I am so new to your blog, like about 10 minutes new. And I am busting my gut. I am going to be a tuner for sure.
Anyways, this tantrum thing "my kid don't do it, they are all 3 perfect little angels" make sure you quote me on this one.
My kids don't throw fits all the time as neither do anyone elses, but when they do I am so guilty of the bribery thing.. "you can have this toy" so I let them (6 yr boy or 2 yr girl)pick out anything they want. then here is the bad thing, when I go to check out... oops its gone, at least I can get them to be better in the store...maybe not on the way out!
my husband on the other hand makes sure that when they start acting up, that he looks at all those people giving us those looks (husband is 6ft3 240 or so) and says "see, this is why you don't have kids and you surely don't bring them out in public" and goes on with a smerk.
I get so tired of people acting like their crap don't stink, get real. Life really don't have a manual! And if it did who would follow it?
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